"Oh man, that was so lame, he looked so old." "Oh man, Shia's a fag." "Oh man, I fucking hate aliens." Yeah, just like everyone else, I went through the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull life-cycle: 1. "There's a new Indiana Jones movie coming out?! Holy shit, is Harrison Ford going to be in it?" 2. "Indiana Jones 4, huh? Maybe I don't like when they turn trilogies into quad-logies. And it's kind of a weird title. Definitely not as cool as "Raiders of..." or "Last Crusade." 3. "Wow, the trailer looked bad-ass!" 4."Ahh, the reviews aren't so hot and this guy at work told me he heard from someone he used to work with that it was lame."
So that left me confused. But still anticipatory. But not expecting much.
So I saw it. And ya know what?
It was fine!
Sure, flying monkies/Shia. Sure, Stargate-esque plot that went over the top. SURE! Meandering Cate Blanchette accent.
But it's an Indiana Jones movie! How easily we forget Nazis being melted by God-power. Or hearts being ripped from chests still beating. Or, the ultimate, the HOLY GRAIL saving Sean Connery's hairy ass.
I've got my reservations, my complaints, my constructive criticism. But overall, this movie sucked way less than Transformers, the love scenes from Attack of the Clones or the second Matrix. Plus, Harrison Ford could be as old as the Knight in The Last Crusade and he'd still be the first person your paranoid ass would think is screwing your girlfriend when she doesn't text you back.
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